Short Escape up North (Day 1-2)

We were pulling long hours at work and it was so tiring that the few of us decided to take a break and travel up north and enjoy what there is to offer there. So we took a slow drive from Muar to Kedah after work.

We decided to stop by Auto City for dinner and it was amazing. There were so many different eateries and we had trouble deciding where to dine. Ended up walking around the place thrice before deciding.

So after dinner, we went for a walk and saw some amazingly beautiful places.

The decorations are simply breathtaking.

Well if you are bored, why not have a game of snakes and ladders. This picture did not do it any justice. It was a huge piece of snake and ladder game so kids will definitely love it.

And... there's these cutie pies.. :) :)

These are so nostalgic. The decorations make it look like an ancient time eatery so you feel like a legend in the modern world. Haha.

We put the night up at my colleague's house up in Alor Setar. As we arrived close to midnight, I wasn't able to take much photos but the next day, we decided to wake up early and explore the good food they have to offer and let me tell you something: It never disappointed me. Haha. Being a picky eater, I can fairly say that these food are amazing.

This curry fish head place at Kampung Lubok Peringgi is just simply amazing. If you are in Alor Setar, waze yourself to No. 8 Curry House and you will find yourself in a beautiful place with some Thai ambience and fill your tummies with some delectable delicacies.

After filling our tummies, we decided to go for a drive around Alor Setar which is the capital of Kedah. The Zahir Mosque was said to be one of the grandest and oldest mosques in Malaysia. It was built in 1912 and has been voted the top 10 most beautiful mosques in the world. The Alor Setar Tower on the other hand is a communication tower but tourists can have a ride all the way up and enjoy the scenery of Alor Setar.

The Zahir Mosque that looks stunning in the middle of the city. It somehow reminds me of Aladdin.

The Alor Setar Tower standing proud and tall right in the middle of the city.

Aman Central which houses many local and international brands and we spent hours here doing what girls do best. Haha. Retail therapy is a good therapy.

After burning calories at Aman Mall, it was time for dinner again. This time, we drove to Jitra (as recommended by locals) and the trip was worth it. It was a restaurant with a Thai twist of flavours. The name of the place is Restoran 5 Utara in Jitra.

The northern style otak-otak. Taste different from what we have in Muar but nevertheless, it was good and unique in its own way.

One of my favourite dishes. Not many people can handle the taste of petai and its strong flavours but I love them. The petais here are much bigger than the ones we usually get in Johore and it was sooooo yummy.

The cuttlefish was the best dish of the night. It was spicy but veryyyyy good.

We headed back to my friend's house for the night and I intentionally missed out on telling everyone that her house was surrounded by fields after fields of paddy. It was a good season to enjoy the fields as it was almost time for harvest and the paddy fields were just stunning. I woke up early the next morning to have a feel of the morning market here but alas, forgot to take photo of it as we were busy shopping (again...). Alor Setar has so many beautiful paintings and murals in their back alleys.

We woke up to this view of the rising sun. Simply stunning.

Two of the cutest childhood memories. The one on the left is a popular toy that we used to get with some chocolate balls when we were little (90s kids growing up in Malaysia would recognise this immediately) and the one on the right is Doraemon - one of my favourite childhood cartoon characters.

A painting of the late Tunku Abdul Rahman, the first Prime Minister of Malaysia who was born in Alor Setar and moved on to become the Father of Independence in Malaysia. This mural was painted to commemorate the sacrifices that Tunku had done for the nation.

A mural of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, the fourth Prime Minister of Malaysia, also known as the Father of Modernization. 

 After going around town in the morning, we decided to have our scrumptuous lunch at Seafood Restaurant in Jalan Kampung Perak. PS: We ordered more than those 2 shown in the picture but we were busy eating that we forgot to take photo of the other food. Haha.

Words cannot describe how amazing this fish was. Those golden brown toppings are fried pickled vegetables that enhanced the flavours of the steamed fish.

As the old Chinese rhyme goes: Have some leek and you will have lots of money to count (say it in Hokkien dialect and have a good laugh). 

It is now time to explore the paddy fields and we had a good time running around and playing in the fields.

These paddies are almost ready to be harvested. There's a Malay saying that goes like this: Be like paddies, the more contents you have, the lower you bow. It tells us to be humble wherever we go even though we might be the experts in what we do.

Imagine waking up to this view... absolutely amazing.

A beautiful picture of sunset by the paddy fields.

So that was how my first 2 days of the trip went. Stay tuned for updates on the rest of the trip.

Cheers
Min

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Everyone is beautiful

Everyone is beautiful in our own way. Do not let others classify how beautiful you are but instead have a look at yourself and tell yourself that you are beautiful.

Stand in front of that mirror each day and complement one part of your body and by the end of the month, you will start liking how you look and by the end of the year, you will look back and say, "Hey, I had a wonderful year."

How this works? Well, our brain is fantastic isn't it. When we start complementing how we look, our brain naturally processes this as a happy thought and releases endorphin in our body. These are what people call happy hormones. These happy hormones will start flowing through your body and as its name suggests, it makes you happy. The more endorphin you release daily, the less likely you are to succumb to the pressure or expectations of others.

I've personally had this experience of falling to a slump after someone accused me of doing something that I did not do. It totally changed it. It's crazy how what someone says and do can affect you so much. Till now, it still affects me but I have learned to cope with that horrible feeling.

What happened?

Well, it's simple. I used to live with a family whom I thought was a nice family until I found the ugly truth. Things started off well but since I have been living overseas for several years, coming home and living with others have become difficult for me. It was difficult to adapt but I tried my best to adapt to their living. At that time, I was just starting my new job and everything was getting tougher and tougher. Pressure from work piled up and naturally I was tired after work so I tried to compensate during the weekends.

I tried to be what I thought was the 'model tenant'. I tried offering help if I could but I felt awkward. I tried not to make it a burden living with them so I used to eat out but it was thought as rude. I tried to be as cheerful as I can but I was so tired after work that all I want to do was crash and start again the next day.When work became more demanding, I had to come home and study almost every night just so I don't fall behind at work but not everyone understood that feeling. It wasn't easy juggling between work and life. What made it worse was after work, I frequently had to come home and live a life walking on broken glass. I literally have to be very careful with everything I say and everything I do. I knew I was being sloppy but I just couldn't help it so during the weekends, I would try and clean up my mess and perhaps get a little rest. People thinks I'm an extrovert but actually I enjoy staying alone by myself and just doing nothing. Yes, rest and do nothing is literally what I am good at. Perhaps just reading a book till I fall asleep, listen to some music and continue reading when I felt like it. That's how I can spend my day.

I used to try and run away so I went and spend the weekend at my friend's place very often. I always made excuses just so I can run away and breathe. I went over so often that I actually lost count. Thought I had so much work to do, I couldn't resist the temptation of just running away and be myself at least for 24 hours. Home was approximately 5 hours away. I didn't want to make my parents worry so I told them I was fine and posted photos of how I was having fun with my friends as a delusion of how much pain I was in.

All this happened in a short span of two and a half months. Well, one might ask, if I had been living such a difficult life, why didn't I just move out? Well, I actually can't answer that. It didn't cross my mind to leave because I trusted the family. I guessed all the stress of adapting got into me. I was faring poorly at work, I was lethargic, I was blank at work. Still, I tried to cope.

One day, I began hearing shouting and lots of banging going on in the house. I didn't dare interfere so I just kept quiet and acted as if nothing happened. It was probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made in life to choose to stay there because I have literally just burned the bridges between my family and their family. They suspected that I was setting up an indoor surveillance system in their house and that I was spying on them. I have to admit that I thought it was kind of silly when they thought I was part of an artificial intelligence team trying to spy on their family or something. First of, I do not know if they had such big secrets to hide in the first place but I have no ill thoughts of them. I didn't go there with any bad intentions. I was in a whole new town. When I came back to my country, I was hoping to get a job somewhere near my parents and feel the love of my parents but life was not that easy.

I was alone in a strange town, 5 hours away from home and no friends. The thought alone was scary enough but on top of that, I was starting my new job which means that I have to work double as hard to make myself worth.

The night that I found out, I immediately packed up my stuff, contacted a few friends (whom I am really thankful for) and literally moved out. I spent the rest of the year fighting depression that I knew was there but I wasn't willing to acknowledge. Being accused by someone who was so dear to me of an act such that I betrayed them. I never really told anyone how I felt about that and I just held it in, hoping that one day the skies will clear up.

The next 10 months was totally the slump of my life. I tried to hang out with my friends whenever I can and it really made me feel a lot better but I was being more introvert than ever. I isolated myself from my housemates, I behaved weirdly for which I do not know why did I even behave that way. I am thankful for the fact that my housemates bear with me throughout the 10 months for I knew I was a difficult person to handle at that time. I was difficult mainly because I didn't know how to express my feelings and I guessed I was just depressed.

I finally break out of my shell when I was posted to a different town appox 14 months after starting my new job. This time, I have learnt my lesson. I choose to rent alone although that meant that I was going to be lonely but at least I get to be myself and do things that I am most comfortable doing. I'm glad that I met friendly colleagues for whom I am very thankful for. If it wasn't for them, I would have still be in my slump right now. It didn't take long for my family to start noticing that I was happier where I am now. I was a totally different person. I am now able to express myself more freely.

I guess there would be a point in life where everyone questions their life and is life worth living. I have had that thought myself but yes, I chose to live. I have never had the idea of terminating my life because I knew it was not worth risking my life for someone who doesn't even appreciate my existence. Why should I give them the opportunity to remove me from this world. Nonetheless, they have successfully made me question my worth in this world; in short, I felt worthless. I woke up each day and sigh "Ahh, I've made it to another day."

How about now? Well, now, every morning I tell myself cheerfully "Hey gorgeous, we made it through to another day, why not make it worth?" Do I really say that to myself, YES I DO. Why? Haha. Simply because it makes me feel a lot better and I feel like I am at the top of the world.

Well, since this is my first post, I shall leave it here and continue talking about what I did to change how I felt about myself in the next post. Before I sign off, let me just tell everyone to live life happily and to appreciate yourself as much as you appreciate everyone you love.

Cheers and make this world a better place.
Min

PS: Lets end this post with a wonderful song by Amber titled Beautiful.I absolutely love her songs and she is so inspiring.

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Road to healing

So, one may ask, how bad is it really to be hurt? Well, let me tell you, it really stings. Every night, the same obnoxious comments will haunt you and keep ringing in your ear until you fall asleep but the problem is that you can't sleep. So, the incident gets more and more annoying and it starts taking over your life. You can't focus on work because you are so tired and yet you can't sleep at night because your mind is so occupied.

How do you get about it?

Here are a few things that I found quite the stress reliever and helped me keep sane again.

1. Change in environment. Migrate. Where?

How can this help? It makes a bigggg difference. Think about it. All the precipitating factors removed and you can start afresh. However, this might not necessarily be an option for many people to physically move to a new place because due to commitments and other factors. It may be difficult for you to leave. So, the best thing to do is migrate your mindset. Remove these people from your mind. How do you do that? You do not have super powers nor do you have mind control to do such a thing. Yes, you are right about not having super powers but no you are wrong about mind control. You can control the way you think.

Why do I say that? Lets have a case scenario. Remember the time that you did something wrong or something you regret. Have you ever felt better about yourself after talking to someone about it? Did crying help? Well, I'm sure it did make you feel better but did it change the fact that you have done something wrong? No it doesn't change the fact that you have done something wrong but it made you feel better and it makes you ready to accept the punishment.

Why is that so? Well, your body is actually capable of coping with stress but it is all controlled by your mind. When you encounter a stressful situation, your body will flip to defensive and rejecting mode. As such, you will start rejecting the fact that you did something wrong and defend yourself that you are right. Have you ever done something wrong and tried to find ways to comfort yourself by finding excuses about why you did it? That's the exact mechanism that you should use to try and make things better.

Sit down and empty your mind. This is the toughest step of all. If you can't do this, stare into the mirror and think about what happened. If you feel like crying then let your emotions pouur. You are just another human capable of feeling pain so just let the emotions flow. If you do this often enough, you will start feeling better about the incident. When you are ready, try telling yourself in the mirror that you are doing well. Those people are just jealous of you which is why they came up with the malicious comments. 

Start telling yourself in the mirror how good you look or complement yourself everyday first thing in the morning. It helps keep your mind strong and help you brave the obstacles that come your way. Be confident in whatever you do and keep your head straight. You can do this! You are stronger than that!. These  are the two phrases that kept me strong all these time.

2. Find true friends.

As easy as it may sound, finding a true friend is like finding a needle in the haystack. When I was in my slump, I always turn to my friends for advice and talk to them about it. These are the people whom I am very grateful to have. My friends would travel all the way just to visit me and what do we do? Go to a nice restaurant and just talk about it. Honestly, it felt so much better after talking to someone about it.

I'm also very grateful to have fantastic parents who know that something is not right. They can see right through me. I used to be an extremely jovial person but I changed to become extremely introvert and I became a social retard. Well, although I may be far from my parents, they make it an effort to drive all the way down to visit me. Bear in mind, I was about 5 hours drive away from home. They used to come and stay with me for a night or two just to keep me company because they know all that loneliness will drive me insane. Many would say mum knows me well but actually although dad never said it, he could feel that I wasn't my actual self and it was comforting to see that he was trying very hard to reach out to me.

Having someone to talk to really makes a difference.

So, one may ask, what do I do if I haven't got anyone that I can talk to? I would suggest that you first talk to the you in the mirror. As crazy as it may sound, if you can face yourself and talk to your reflection, emotions will begin pouring out, you might need to replace the mirror several times but after all the drama, you will feel a whole lot better. Then what? Once you are ready to step out of your hiding, you should start making new friends. Remember what I said about migration? Leave the negative and be ready to accept new things. Sign up for something new. Be it gym, dance lessons, yoga, learn an instrument or learn a new language. Just sign up for a class and start taking it seriously. Make friends there and hopefully you can find your true friends there.

3. Learn something new.

Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be something new but just sign up for something. As for me, I signed up for badminton which really helped me out of my shell because I was able to laugh my heart out at the court without anyone thinking that I was crazy. I also made many good friends there for whom I am truly thankful for. I was adjusting to a new place and these people made adapting to the new environment a lot easier.

4. Exercise.

This is a great way to relief stress. If you are not an athletic person, then you don't have to exercise physically but exercise your vocal chords. Seriously, try it. When I first signed up for gym, it was so tiring and I felt like giving up but after going regularly, it became a lot easier and after sweating it out, I felt so much better about myself. Well, another thing that affected my self esteem was my appearance. I do not have the face nor the body to look pretty which means it hurts my self-esteem even more. I used to blame myself for how I look and as a result, I resorted to binge eating which was terrible because all it did was make me gain weight.

After a month of gym, I started noticing subtle changes in my body and it made me feel good. One may ask, one moment I was talking about badminton and the next moment gym? Well, it's a long story and I promise to cover it in my future post but to cut it short, when I moved to my new workplace, I started fresh. It's now 2 hours from home and I signed up for badminton but 2 months later, I broke my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament - one of the ligaments in my knee) again which made something as simple as walking extremely painful for about 4 months. I don't have any idea how I endured through it but yes, I endured it and then I went for physio which really helped but then I couldn't commit to physio sessions as work was getting more hectic. So, I resorted to going to the gym. For which I make it an effort to go at least 4-5 times a week.

Sweating it out was really an awesome feeling. It was like releasing all that frustrations in my body and as I grew stronger, I felt as though I could just pull those emotions that was restraining me right off and I can run away from those restraints.

Another thing that I found really good to release stress is belting my heart out be it during shower time or in the karaoke room. Yes, karaoke is more or less like an exercise for me. I don't just exercise my vocal chords but also a lot of my abs. I always sweat so much in the karaoke room and felt my abs burning at the end of the session. I used to go for 3 hour sessions with my friends and it was as though they knew that I needed to release all that stress, we only sang songs that require a lot of screaming and dancing. We scream and dance our frustrations out and at the end of the day, we complete the package with a round of good laugh over dinner.

5. Indulge yourself in

No, sorry, I don't mean in food because I do find that I was feeling better everytime after indulging. the post effect was too severe for me. I felt that I was gaining weight and it made me feel so much worse about myself.

Instead, I mean, indulge yourself in something be it work or studies to forget about the painful past. This was what I did when I was feeling so lost after my brother passed away (yes, I do have many painful memories). I indulged myself in studies because firstly, I knew that my brother really wanted me to excel in my studies and wanted me to get a good job but more importantly, studying really hard was an excuse for me to forget about what is happening and just focus on my education. I studied like there was no tomorrow because everytime I took a break, the painful truth hits me and tears kept flowing. This was an effective way because it served as an escape route for me. I am thankful that I put my heart into studies and not drugs because I am happy with my current job.

6. DO NOT do silly things

Yes, I mean it. If you are considering about taking your life just because someone was mean to you, you should think about your family, friends and the people who cherish you most. Do you want to be that selfish person who ignore the fact that your parents struggled so hard to raise you just to see you taking your own life over something that was not even your fault to start off with? NO! You are worth more than that.

When I was young, I didn't come from a very well off family so I have seen how hard my parents struggle to put food on the table and to make sure that I get my education. My mum used to have 2-3 jobs (I am not even kidding. Many people do not know this fact, not even some of my close friends) just to make ends meet. I saw how hard they struggled to make sure I become a useful person in this society and I will not let one rotten apple's comment make my parents efforts go down the drain.

Never do something that you will regret either in this life or afterlife.

I used to hate waking up everyday because I knew I had to face the same problem over and over again but after taking all the above steps, I wake up everyday with a smile and I thank God for everyday that He allow me to wake up to.

I now work in the hospital and I see how my my patients fight for their life and it makes me want to help them even more.It made my life meaningful and I have never stop praising God because He put me through all these pain only to come out as a better person and now I am able to help others.

One day, things will work out for you too. Just have faith and never stop believing in God for He only puts you through things that He knew you will be able to handle. After completing that obstacle,you will come out stronger and you will be surprised at how strong you really are. There is always light at the other end of the tunnel if you are brave enough to walk through the darkness.

Have faith and keep fighting. Life is a stage and it is you who determine whether it will be a happy ending or not.

Cheers
Min

PS: I do not own any of the photos in this post. 

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